Like I’ve mentioned in my previous posts I want to write more about self-love and God’s love on accepting us as we are. This is something that I am personally learning through myself. Some people are just naturally born with this inner confidence and for others it takes time to unlearn some social conditioning or insecurities that may have developed growing up. For me, I was used to being really hard on myself for not being “skinny” enough or being over the BMI index that’s considered “healthy” for my age and height. I would count my calories and weigh myself almost every day and instead of losing weight I was actually gaining weight. I was so frustrated and would cry and feel helpless whenever I would see that scale move up. One thing I did however was to pray that God would give me mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health, and he led me to intuitive eating.
Last year a friend briefly mentioned to me that she did something called “intuitive eating” and I had heard about it before but I was too afraid of gaining weight. Earlier this year I told myself that I wanted to lose 10lbs in a month! Instead by mid-month I was completely fed up with the restriction I put on myself that I decided to research and learn more about this whole intuitive eating thing and what I learned is that basically our bodies are naturally wired to take care of themselves. I felt so much better on the inside mentally when I wasn’t weighing myself or counting my calories. I threw out my scale and I haven’t weighed myself all year, and guess what? I’ve never felt better! I feel so much more confident in my body now than when I was actually thinner. Of course there are days when I want to cry and be upset because I’ve gained weight, but honestly most days I’m just happy that I can eat what I want and not have to worry about working out like crazy. I still try to eat balanced meals and go on walks or hikes, but I don’t push myself as much as I use to. The main thing that I really try to focus on is embracing and loving myself for today.
There’s this whole diet culture that we live in that makes us insecure and profits from our insecurities. You guys bingieng, eating disorders, and hating yourself for not looking fit enough IS NOT OKAY. I would not want to raise my future daughter in an environment where she is taught she is not enough unless she looks a certain way. I’m not saying that you should eat a bunch of doughnuts and pizza until you can’t anymore that clearly is not healthy either and you wouldn’t feel great about it, but I am saying that food is meant to nourish us and is also meant to be enjoyed. So enjoy it! Love and trust your body! And research intuitive eating. For me I believe that God used it as a way to free me from this oppressive diet culture society that we live in. And let’s be real here we do live in an oppressive society. Oppression against black people, immigrants, women, children, animals.. it’s up to us to be the difference that God calls us to be. So let’s do it.
Have a blessed week.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life 